Listening is an important skill. I’ve noticed a subtle shift in the way people speak now. Up until 5 minutes ago, most people talked like this : “I think X” and a person would respond “Well I think Y”. Now people have replaced the word “think” with the word “feel”.
So now people are talking like this “Well, I feel like we are going in the wrong direction”, Oh yeah, “I feel the same way” This is a subtle but profound change in the way people are now communicating. This change is more evident in younger age groups.
Not sure exactly how or when this happened. But, the consequences to the collective/social mind will be profound. We are subtly cueing that “feeling” is the default action over “thinking” every time we speak.
Has anyone else noticed the reduction in debate, critical thinking and general sense-making of certain demographics? I don’t think this is a coincidence. I believe this is the logical result of prioritizing emotion over intellect in schools, politics and the general society.
A society that places intellect (I) over emotion (E) is an ordered society. A society that places emotion over intellect is a disordered or chaotic society. For you math nerds, this is what it looks like in equation form.
What can we do? It’s hard to change something unless you are aware of it. First start listening to others and notice how they are now using “feel” instead of “think”. Then notice the times when you use this “feeling” construction in your own speaking.
It has been said, a person easily angered (or made emotional), is a person easily controlled. I don’t want that for myself, so I use some mnemonic tools to help me remember to speak the right way and to always place intellect over emotion. See below for this helpful pointer:
“I over E except after C”. We taught this to kids as a helpful spelling aid. This tool reminds me to always use intellect over emotion when dealing with humans and when making important decisions. Just remember- putting the E over the I = Chaos!
How do learn anything about the world without asking questions? Who, what, when, where, how and why are the basic forms. All of them purpose built to receive a certain type of info in return. I’ve noticed something different about one of them, the question (Why).
(Why) has a superpower that none of the others have. It often hides a complaint. If you try to use any of the others the same way, it doesn’t work. Most people don’t even realize they are using this power when saying the word. It is my hope that this post will change that.
Let’s see some examples, “Why are you wearing those skinny jeans?”, “Why are you coming home so late?” or “Why do you have to be like that?”. When I am honest, I notice that the word (Why) is almost never used in the spirit of general inquiry. It masks something negative inside.
More often it is used to signal MY lack of acceptance of a situation, or to cast judgement on another, or show disapproval of someone or something. Where the other forms ...
1- Accepting one's life as it is.
2- Being grateful for one's past experiences.
3- Understanding it could not have been otherwise.
4- Being at peace with all of it.
I wonder how many projects have been delayed temporarily or permanently by people not knowing where to begin? Do I wade carefully into the shallow end or dive head-first into the deep end of a topic? Do I start at the chronological beginning or in present times? Most importantly, will people even care to know or will they not even give a damn?
“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.” – Bertrand Russell
